It’s true.  Just hear me out.

Oh boy, file this under the best courtroom drama since the Anna Nicole Smith death trial.  Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail and some inpatient rehab time.

Apparently she thought she could ‘bank’ class visits and other probation stuff so she could go off and work party.

She asks for some leniency here:

If only she acted like this in movies, maybe Herbie Fully Loaded would be a classic!  Still think she’s taking the situation seriously? Look what Perez found on her middle fingernail… (WARNING…NOT FOR THE KIDS)

He swears this image wasn’t doctored in any way, and I think she’s just crazy enough make this kind of a statement, so I believe him.

OMG, then, last night it was time to roll out the rest of the Lohan circus, beginning with papa Lohan on Larry King Live. Is it crazy to think that he’s the one in this mess with the best plan for her?

I get it, she’s a spoiled, self-involved, shallow girl who got fame way too early and has to deal with a wacky family, but does she have to fit the cliche so perfectly?

5. Wow. What a letdown. There was all this rumor and speculation that some A-list actor was going to come out of the closet in an exclusive “People” magazine cover story, and it ended up being Chely Wright. Exactly. Most people were asking, “Who the heck is Chely Wright and what A-list movie did he star in?” Well, Chely isn’t an A-list actor, she’s a sorta successful country singer who’s finally admitting that she’s a lesbian. She told “People” about she was scared to come out because nobody in country music ever has and she didn’t want to be the first. But now here she is and we’ll see if more country music stars follow her lead because you KNOW there are more…

4. Lindsay Lohan’s mom Dina flew back to LA from NY yesterday because mom wants to make sure Lindsay shows up for a deposition today. This goes back to 2007 when Lindsay hijacked an SUV and took three guys on the thrill-ride of their life down the Pacific Coast Highway while Lindsay tried to chase down her assistant. The men are now suing Lindsay and their lawyers want to make her sit down for a full day’s worth of questioning. When they tried to schedule it over a week ago, Lindsay told them her schedule is so full that she only had a few hours to spare. So the lawyers told her if she wasn’t willing to commit to a full day, then don’t show up at all. So she didn’t. And then paparazzi caught pictures of her shopping. They’ve scheduled another deposition for today, but if she fails to show up again, they’re going to ask the judge for a default judgment.

3. So much for an amicable split. Now the rumor is that Gabriel Aubry is so unhappy with the media fallout since it was announced that he and Halle Berry broke up, he wants to take his 2-year-old daughter away from her mother in LA and mover her to Canada with him. Halle and Gabriel split a few months ago and quietly worked out a financial settlement and agreed on 50/50 custody of Nahla. But Gabriel is so upset by the stories coming out — stories he’s convinced are being generated by Halle’s camp — that he is seriously considering challenging their custody agreement.

2. David Boreanaz says he just wants to be “open and honest” by admitting to “People” magazine that he’s been unfaithful to his wife of 9 years. Right, David….Funny how all this openness and honesty comes right around the same time one of your mistresses asks you for six figures to keep her mouth shut. David says he and his wife Jaime are now trying to save their marriage. Meantime, TMZ is reporting that David had paid this woman several thousands of dollars to keep quiet, but the she hired Gloria Allred and that’s when she asked for the big money and that’s when he decided to go public with the affair. RadarOnline is claiming that the mistress in question here is none other than Rachel Uchitel, most famous, of course, for sleeping with Tiger Woods.

1. There was a blind gossip item that has many people pointing the finger at one celebrity couple — Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman. The rumor is that an A-list singer — that would be Christina — drags her husband out of the house just so the paparazzi can snap pictures of them shopping and hanging out. But in actuality, this A-lister is making her husband sleep in the guest house or over at his friends’ homes while she invites “friends” of her own to come stay with her. Apparently, whoever this is has a new CD coming out and wants to spend her time talking to interviewers about her music and not the breakdown of her marriage.

Conan O’Brien’s first interview since his show was taken from him is airing this Sunday on 60 minutes and he was careful with his words about Jay Leno. Conan says that if he had surrendered the show, handed it over to someone publicly and even wished them well, he would have made a different decision. He says he never would have taken a show back from someone else. When the reporter asked him if Jay acted less than honorable, Conan said he couldn’t answer that. As for why he left NBC he says, “I think this relationship is going be toxic and maybe we just need to go our separate ways. That’s really how it felt to me…and I started to feel that I’m not sure these people even really want me here….I can’t do it anymore.”

Hopefully this is just a rumor because it’s disturbing! Sources close to the late Brittany Murphy are claiming that not only is Simon Monjack still living with her mother, Sharon, but their relationship is turning romantic. As if that’s not bad enough, the pair are supposedly shopping around a tell-all book about Brittany’s life because they need the money. Fortunately no publishers want to get involved with that. A source says, ”Sadly, unless that book reveals some pretty salacious stuff — which I doubt they have, except for eating-disorder and prescription-drug stuff — it’s not enough to sell many books.”

Samantha Ronson has had it with Lindsay Lohan. The two were both at Timbaland’s birthday party at Drai’s in Hollywood when they broke into a Twitter fight.

Sam says, “One more thing- if you’re gonna be an idiot an do coke- do it outside the bathroom- some of us actually use them to pee in.”

Lindsay responded, “I’m pretty sure that @samantharonson just threw a fit @33years old and my friend tal @draishollywood illegally open NOW at this hour, Asked me, after being here jus for Timbalands birthday-to leave even though she stayed over just 2nights ago-tired of @samantharonson.”

5. Elin Woods took the kids and flew to Sweden by private jet Monday. She plans to be gone for weeks. But before she left, Elin reportedly met with a divorce attorney 3 times. And it looks like Tiger has given up trying to save the marriage and is moving on with his life. He’s living in the house he and Elin once shared, although he was seen leaving a realtor’s office this week, so maybe he’s wanting to unload a house filled with some bad memories. And after Elin left Monday, Tiger spent Tuesday and Wednesday playing golf with Michael Jordan, and his house has been packed with lots of friends every day and night. A source says Tiger’s not a man sitting around depressed about his marriage. He’s moving on and seems to be as happy as ever.

4.  A lot of people assumed — for obvious reasons — that Doug Reinhardt was using Paris Hilton. But a source says that simply wasn’t the case and claims that during their 18-month relationship, Doug spent $2 million on her!! WHAT?!?! This source says Doug had a lot to live up to in terms of keeping up with Paris’ jet-setting lifestyle, and that all those trips they took to Fiji and Hawaii and Aspen were paid for by Doug. The source say she showered her with presents, including a Chanel watch and custom-made jewelry. So what exactly did he get out of this deal? And where exactly did he get $2 million in the first place?

3. If you watched season one of “Jersey Shore,” then you are familiar with the term “grenades.” In Jersey Shore lingo, grenades are ugly, fat girls and during season one of the show, The Situation and Pauly D were teased for hooking up with lots of grenades. But this season, a source close to the cast says The Situation and Pauly D have moved on to the “hot babes” and Ronnie’s the one locking lips with grenades. But apparently, he’s doing all of this behind his girlfriend Sammi’s back. We’ll see if any of that makes the show when it comes back to MTV in July.

2. “People” magazine loves to feature the “Yes, I’m gay!” cover story. They did it with Lance Bass and Clay Aiken, but those weren’t really shocking disclosures. But! “People” reportedly has an exclusive and shocking “Yes, I’m gay!” cover story for their May 5 issue. It’s reportedly some A-list actor known for his many encounters with women. But it was all for show, and he’s ready to come out and live his life as a gay man. Whoever this is has already been booked on several major talk shows that week to discuss it, including “The View.”

1. Lindsday Lohan’s dad told TMZ he will back off trying to get Lindsay placed in a conservatorship if she and his other daughter Ali agree to sit down with him and talk — without any lawyers or their mom Dina present. Michael Lohan says if the girls don’t agree, he will go to Family Services and ask that Ali be removed from Lindsay’s home, which is where she’s been living and where she is being home-schooled. By Lindsay?? Michael showed up at Lindsay’s apartment for an intervention and Lindsay was tweeting about it at full speed. She says she needs a restraining order against her dad because he’s nuts, and that he can barely spell his own name because his brain has been ruined by drugs. Interesting stuff if you want to check it out – twitter.com

5. “How To Train Your Dragon” surprised everybody by finishing first at the box office this weekend. The 3-D cartoon earned another $20 million in its fourth week. Hot on its heels in second place was the new movie, “Kick-Ass.” It was super-close, too — earning $19.75 million for second. Maybe if it had been in 3-D, it wouldn’ve debuted in first. Coming in third was “Date Night,” with $17.3 million .

4. Snooki, J-WOWW, The Situation, and friends have been living inside the Metropole Hotel in South Beach while they’re filming the second season of “Jersey Shore.” Several walls of the 1940s hotel had to be torn down to make the space more suitable for such a big cast, but the owners hope they’ll make that money back fast. They plan on renting out the Jersey Shore Suite for $2000 a night after the cast packs up and heads back home to Jersey.

3. Carrie Underwood made history last night by becoming the first woman to win the CMA for Entertainer of the Year twice. But Lady Antebellum was the big winner of the night, winning 5 awards, including song and record of the year for their crossover hit “Need You Now.” They also snapped Rascal Flatts’ 7-year winning streak by taking home the award for best vocal group. However, Miranda Lambert beat out Lady Antebellum for album of the year. But maybe the biggest story of the night isn’t who won, but who lost. Taylor Swift was completely shut out of the ACMs last night after sweeping the Country Music Association Awards back in November and then taking home her Grammy in January.

2. Lindsay Lohan hasn’t done much work since her last movie “Labor Pains” went straight to DVD, but that hasn’t stopped her bad habit of spending money. Lindsay used to make a good bit of money doing club appearances, but those are drying up, too. Now that her career is tanking, she’s lucky to get $5K to show up these days. A source says Lindsay owes about $600K in credit card debt and claims that one credit card company cut her off last week. And just last month, Lindsay reportedly had to scrape up $23K to catch up on back rent so she could stay in her place.

1. Kim Kardashian has reportedly moved on from her breakup with Reggie Bush. She was seen making out with international soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo while she was in Madrid last week. But what we haven’t heard about is the reason behind Kim and Reggie’s breakup. MediaTakeOut.com claims they have the real story from an “extremely reliable” insider. They claim that Reggie and Kim were headed toward marriange and that Reggie even went so far as to buy the ring. He was just waiting for the right time to pop the question. Well! One day, Reggie was using Kim’s laptop when all of a sudden some IMs came over — from Kanye West!! Reggie pretended to be Kim and was able to figure out that Kanye and Kim had been seeing each other for months behind Reggie’s back. MediaTakeOut.com says Reggie confronted Kim about it and she confessed. So he broke up with her and then headed straight for Kanye. This “extremely reliable” source says Kanye’s security had to hold Reggie back, but that the next time Reggie sees Kanye, he’s gonig to whoop his butt.

The Sandra Bullock-Jesse James fiasco has reached a new low –speculations of a tape existing between the couple have Sandra furious! Sandra must be mad because she broke her media silence for the very first time saying that “There is absolutely NO tape, never has been, never will be”. Apparently the reason she hasn’t divorced him yet, isn’t because of any dirt Jesse has on her, but because she doesn’t want him giving angry interviews to the all the media outlets.

A Hollywood couple we thought might actually last has broken up. Jim Carry and Jenny McCarthy have ended their relationship after 5 years together. Jim tweeted yesterday, “Jenny and I have just ended our 5 yr relationship. I’m grateful 4 the many blessings we’ve shared and I wish her the very best!”  Jenny confirmed it on her Twitter page shortly after and her rep said that the split was amicable and mutual.  As of right now there is no reason for the split but someone is going to have to move out because they have been living together for years.   
 

Lindsay Lohan is about to get a new step-mom. Her father Michael has proposed to Kate Major. If you don’t remember Kate Major, she was the former star reporter who was dating Jon Gosselin for a hot minute. No date has been set, but it’s going to be New York at the end of the year. Kate was wearing an engagement ring yesterday said that she’s ecstatic, they’ve known each other for 4 years and it’s meant to be. Michael said that his favorite part about Kate is that she doesn’t come with any baggage!

5. While we’re holding a fabulous “Kings of GLEEon!” contest where you and your trio or quartet can win trips to see the Glee Live! in LA, NY and Chicago, FOX is now holding auditions for new cast members. To apply online, you have to be between the ages of 16 and 26 and not under a current recording contract or any other kind of contract that would keep you from doing the show exclusively. The deadline to apply is April 26 and production begins sometime around the first of July. Go to www.myspace.com to get all the details.

4. Dr. Drew hosts “Celebrity Rehab” and he says he has a bad feeling about Lindsay Lohan. He told RadarOnline, “I fear for her. If the reports are true that she’s taking pills, I would love to know who is prescribing them to her…I’ve always said that Lindsay Lohan can be a wonderful, recovering person, provided she gets treatment and successfully completes rehab.” Unlike Britney Spears, Dr. Drew doesn’t think a conservatorship for Lindsay because she hasn’t shown any signs that she has mental health issues. He said, ” In this country you can use drugs until you die, that isn’t grounds to get a conservatorship over someone. Britney’s conservatorship was genius, but it took a lot to successfully pull it off, and she is clearly in a much better place now because of it.”

3. Spoiler alert! A shocking elimination on “Dancing With The Stars” last night. Pam Anderson and Shannen Doherty were in the bottom two, but at the end of the night, it was Shannen who ended up in the embarrassing position of being the first celebrity eliminated. Her partner Mark Ballas was going to have to drop out of the competition anyway because he injured himself during Monday’s dress rehearsal. His dad Corky would’ve stepped in had Shannen made it, but Shannen says without her partner Mark, she wouldn’t have wanted to continue anyway.

2. A fifth woman is getting ready to come forward to say she also had an affair with Jesse James. RadarOnline says this woman’s been reaching out to attorneys and PR firms over the past few days, and that she may reveal herself before the end of the week. We’re also finding out that Sandra Bullock had some suspicions that Jesse was cheating on her before the news of his affair with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee broke. A source says Sandra and Jesse got into about 4 or 5 blowouts over her suspicions, but every time, he denied having any affairs. He did admit to visiting strip clubs, but that’s it.

1. In a last-ditch effort to stop Sandra from divorcing him, Jesse James has checked into Sierra Tucson, which specializes in drug, alcohol, and — yes — sex addictions. A source says Jesse is begging Sandra not to divorce him and offered to go to the same rehab center that Tiger Woods went to if she would support him and stick with him. She said no. She said a lot more than no, but I can’t cuss on here. But Jesse is desperate to save his marriage, so he checked into sex rehab anyway. But the source says it’s a case of “too little, too late,” and that Sandra is moving forward with a divorce. Apparently she doesn’t take world-wide humiliation very well.

Lindsay Lohan had figured out a new way to make money for herself. Suing a big company! Lindsay has sued E*TRADE for 100 million dollars. She claims that after watching their baby Superbowl commercial she was left in tears. She is convinced that their “milkaholic” baby was modeled after her. The commercial features a baby named Lindsay who in the spot, is accused of being the “other woman” in a baby love triangle and she is also addicted to milk. Lindsay has filed a lawsuit claiming ETRADE used her “name and characterization” in business without paying her or getting her approval.
Lindsay’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, tells TMZ it doesn’t matter that the commercial doesn’t mention the name Lohan, adding, “Do you know the name Oprah? Do you know the name Madonna? Same thing.”

Lots of Jersey Shore news! They have finally announced that the cast will be living in South Beach and filming starts in 10 days! Interestingly, the entire cast is required to get blood work done as well as background checks before moving in! In Snookie news, her boyfriend is getting a little camera friendly and revealed that they exchanged their first “I Love You’s” on Valentine’s Day after a month of dating. Emilio also said something that should be considered a red flag. He said, “I wrote up a diet for her. I’m trying to get her to start dieting and start training. I’ve been living her life, so I’m trying to get her to see mine”.

Lil Wayne is in prison now and he’s made a surprising decision. Originally he was rumored to have been placed in protective custody throughout his stay. However he has decided to remain in the general population with the rest of the criminals. He said he didn’t need to be sequestered and the prison has assigned him an escort that will be with him wherever he goes. But Weezy just doesn’t want to be treated differently than the other inmates.

Lindsay Lohan has a huge surprise for us. This really doesn’t come as a surprise at all, but she has finally admitted to using “alcohol, cocaine and mind-altering substances. She says that she hit rock bottom when her dad went public with all the stories about their family. She said, “I abused … too much and it wasn’t the answer to my problems. People need to know that.” Even more, she claims that she only knew about cocaine because of her dad and she tried it just to see what it was like. Her hope is to share her experience with teens so they “learn from her mistakes”.

Tila Tequila, is getting married! Oh and she’s pregnant, and she miscarried, and she’s adopting a baby from Russia. The craziest person to ever hit reality TV is now posting messages about her upcoming wedding to her baby daddy. Remember she was just getting married to Casey Johsnon a little over a month ago. Then she was going to be a surrogate for her brother. Now she’s marrying a high school sweetheart and she claims that she’s moving back to Texas…