John underwent throat surgery last week.  Here’s what he says on his blog:

Hey all…

I wanted to give you an update on the granuloma just above my vocal cord. I had surgery this afternoon to remove it and am now on complete vocal rest for a month or more. It’s been a very long process in waiting to see if time was an alternative to surgery, but even given two weeks’ voice rest (along with many other approaches), there was no change for the better.

I should be frustrated but I can’t seem to stop thinking about beautiful things… I never thought I’d be wishing I could do what I love again; I stay in at night, picking guitar parts off of records and dreaming of playing on the big stage. The only difference between now and when I was 18 is that now I have this beautiful, meaningful record waiting for me when I can sing it.

Until then, I’m taking off. Going to travel the country, look and listen.

sincere love

JM

Get better John!

All John Mayer singing jokes aside, the guy is apparently battling a real disease that has cause him to put all of his singing on hold.

He was diagnosed with granuloma in his throat.

Granuloma: noun /ˌgranyəˈlōmə/: A mass of granulation tissue, typically produced in response to infection, inflammation, or the presence of a foreign substance.

I don’t know exactly what that is, but it sounds kind of serious.  On a blog post, Mayer wrote about his next album:

“Born and Raised is complete as far as music recording, song selection, and in some cases mixing, but because of this condition I couldn’t finish singing on several of the tracks.  This means the record will be released next year instead of this fall or winter.

I’m not sure how long or short a period of time it will be.  I’ve got the best doctors in the country looking after me and I will be singing and touring again as soon as I get the all-clear. Until then I’ll be spending time writing and composing more music and kicking an empty soup can around the West Village.”

Kick around a soup can: fine.  Just don’t start talking about kicking the bucket.  He’s only 33.

It’s come to our attention on good authority that John Mayer will be making an album with acclaimed producer Phil Ramone.  Ramone’s no slouch.  He was recently honored by Billy Joel and Paul Simon at the Songwriters Hall of Fame.

So what will Mayer’s sound evolve into?  Apparently he’ll be going for the 70s

sound of Bob Dylan’s “Blood on the Tracks”, which is considered one of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time by Rolling Stone.

Can’t decide if this will be awesome or a crime against music.  Waiting to lock up Mayer until it’s completely done though.

Songs from Blood on the Tracks:
Side one:
“Tangled Up in Blue”
“Simple Twist of Fate”
“You’re a Big Girl Now”
Idiot Wind”
“You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go”

Side two
“Meet Me in the Morning”
“Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts”
“If You See Her, Say Hello”
“Shelter from the Storm”
“Buckets of Rain”

“I was burned out from exhaustion buried in the hail
Poisoned in the bushes and blown out on the trail
Hunted like a crocodile ravaged in the corn
“Come in” she said
“I’ll give you shelter from the storm”.
-Shelter from the Storm

Suggestion to Mayer: Always rhyme, put more crocodiles in your songs.

Mayer covers Dylan’s “Don’t Think Twice It’s All Right”

We know what Conan O’Brien is planning to do in the next couple of months. He has just announced a 30-city comedy tour called, “The Legally Prohibited From Being On Television Tour”. Being the incredibly generous guy that he is, he isn’t getting paid to do it! The only reason he’s doing the tour is to keep all of his Tonight Show staffers employed! Every bit of the money the tour makes from tickets and merchandise are going to his staff-AND they are going on the road with him! This shouldn’t have been that hard to do for free considering he received at 32.5 million dollar severance from NBC. Conan is taking 40 people on the road but has warned fans to prepare themselves for the tour being half a**ed/half effort.

Jessica Simpson’s new man has stood up for her and is now giving his thoughts on John Mayer. Billy Corgan told Rolling Stone that what Mayer is doing is a not-so-subtle attempt to blow up his career. Billy says that he knows from personal experience what sabotaging your own career is like. He says, “Rather than take a year off or change his musical direction, some part of it is irritating his soul to the point where he’s trying to blow it up. Certainly a talented guy, but empathetically, standing on the sidelines, it’s hard to watch someone literally burn their career to the ground speaking as somebody who’s done it.”

Ladies, if you can’t get enough of Robert Pattinson you can sleep easy now. He has revealed that acting isn’t his only talent and he is releasing an album later this year. He says that after seeing all of his friends record albums he is very annoyed because he can play the guitar and the piano in addition to singing. He just can’t find the time to get in the studio. He admire J-LO for being able to sing and act!

Jay Leno better start looking for a new sidekick. Kevin Eubanks is leaving The Tonight Show after 18 years! NBC has yet to confirm the news, but the New York Times is reporting this so it seems the cat is outta the bag. Apparently Kevin has said the he wants a change and a chance for new opportunities. Supposedly he wants to go on tour with a band! No date has been set for his departure but sources are speculating that he is leaving shortly after Leno takes The Tonight Show back from Conan O’Brien on March 1.

Jessica Simpson is on the cover of next month’s Allure magazine and is claiming that she has learned “nothing” from her past relationships. She says that John Mayer didn’t make her go brunette even though he’d like to get credited for it. She says that she still talks to Tony Romo. She says that her next husband will undoubtedly be an artistic type. And how does she feel about turning 30? She says that she thought she would have it figured out by now. She says she thought, “I’m going to be this great pop star, have my songs on the radio, be married, and have babies….But things can be taken away from you. A song can not be played on the radio. An album can not work.”

You are the father…for now. Beyonce’s dad has been ordered to pay child support to mistress Alexsandra Wright. She has been claiming for months that she is positive Matthew Knowles is that father of her child. She says that he even helped her name the baby Nixon. An LA judge has ordered Matthew to pay 8,200 a month as well as all medical costs for the child. They haven’t even had a paternity test! He will be taking one March 1. It seems that he IS the daddy because he hasn’t once denied the rumor and also gave Alexsandra $10,000 back in January to cover other pregnancy costs.

John Mayer is starting to stand for: insert foot in mouth. His Rolling Stone interview was racy enough but his Playboy interview makes that look like a Disney show. He goes into details about how wild Jessica Simpson was and compares her to crack cocaine. He says that he would have paid 10,000 dollars just to keep the “romantic” side of their relationship. He goes into detail about what happened with him and Jennifer Aniston. The interviewer asks if he still loves her and he says, “Yes, always. I’ll always be sorry that it didn’t last. In some ways I wish I could be with her. But I can’t change the fact that I need to be 32.” Being 32 means he doesn’t want pet dogs in the kitchen and he wants to tweet. He says that Jen hated the technology side of him and that was the huge difference between them. His goal for the year is to become well liked and get into US Weekly as much as possible.

Oh Fergie Ferg might be regretting that vow renewal! Nicole Forrester, the stripper who claimed to have an affair with Josh Duhamel is 3 months pregnant. She says that she is 95 percent certain that she’s pregnant with Josh’s baby. She says that she hasn’t decided what she is going to do but says that she is probably carrying a million dollar baby! If this turns out to be true, is there any way that Fergie can move past this?!

Kate Hudson has her sights set on a new man and she might have a chance! Apparently, Kate has always had a thing for Justin Timberlake and has been putting on the full court press since hearing he’s on the outs with Jessica Biel. A source close to her says that they’ve both had a “thing” for each other for years but the timing has always been off. Kate and Justin were said to be canoodling at the SAG awards where they presented together. Kate flirted with Justin outrageously that night, and he was all over her. They exchanged numbers in the green room. The rumor around Hollywood is that Justin and Jessica are over and their relationship has evolved into just friends.

5. Paramedics were called to an apartment on the West Side of Manhattan last night. It’s believed that the girl who called 911 was Ireland Baldwin — Alec Baldwin’s 14-year-old daughter who freaked out when her dad was unresponsive. Alec was taken to the hospital where he was examined for about an hour and then released. His condition is not known.

4. Pauly D has been hired by the Palms Casino Resort in Vegas to be their in-house DJ this spring. He should rap up before he has to report for duty with the rest of his “Jersey Shore” castmates in Miami, where season two begins taping in May. Like all the Jersey kids, Pauly’s being offered all sorts of money to show up at different clubs and events. But one of the craziest offers Pauly got was $50K to walk a bride down the aisle! His rep turned it down because Pauly is a serious DJ.

3. Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are both disputing the story going around on the internet that when they were together, Samantha was physically abusive. Lindsay tweeted, “Samantha R never raised a hand to me, I’ve never said she did. Enough is Enough…” Samantha responded with her own Tweet to Lindsay, saying, “THANK you for clearing that up. The high road was giving me a nose bleed! To ANYONE who perpetuates this rumor accusing me of being violently abusive after Lindsay Lohan has denied it: I WILL take legal action. Sorry to sound so stern – but that sort of s**t is not cool.”

2. The stripper who claims she had an affair with Josh Duhamel while he was filming a movie in Atlanta now says she is three months pregnant! And Nicole Forrester says she is “95 percent certain” that Josh is the baby daddy! Nicole says she hasn’t decided what she’s going to do. Interesting to note that when Nicole sold her original story to the “Enquirer,” she said that she and Josh used protection.

1. Who knew John Mayer was the type to kiss and tell? In the new issue of “Playboy” magazine, John claims that sex with Jessica Simpson was as addictive as crack cocaine. He added,  “And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them…It was like napalm, sexual napalm.” He wasn’t so graphic when he described his relationship with Jennifer Aniston — perhaps because there’s a level of respect there. But last night during a concert in Nashville, apparently all of this stuff got to John and during the middle of “Gravity,” he stopped playing and apologized to the guys in his band. He said, “In the quest to be clever, I completely forgot about the people that I love and that love me.”  He then went on to say that he shouldn’t have spent so much time trying to be witty and “I should’ve just given that up and played the guitar. I didn’t. So I decided I would try to be as clever as possible all the time, and I did that at the expense of people that I love and that feels absolutely terrible.” He got real choked up and said, “It’s just not worth being clever. I quit the media game. I’m out. I’m done I just want to play my guitar.” And then he thanked his band and after a long pause, he started playing his guitar solo.

See John Mayer’s In Concert Apology

I’m not sure what’s more insane, that stupid pot hole that I hit on Stoughton Road which they don’t seem to fix or John Mayer.

I guess it’s John Mayer. Remember these are his quotes which fall into the TMI category….

The singer dished on exes Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson to Playboy Magazine, saying that some of the rumors that Aniston dumped him over his Twitter addiction were actually fairly accurate. According to Mayer, she saw his “involvement in technology as courting distraction.”

Then, he took a snarky dig at the 41-year-old actress, saying, “I can’t change the fact that I need to be 32.”

When it comes to Jessica Simpson, however, the details were far juicier, with Mayer revealing that their sex life took a walk on the wild side more often than not. “That girl is like crack cocaine to me…sexually it was crazy…it was like napalm, sexual napalm.”

Mayer, a self-proclaimed sex addict, went on to reveal how far he would go to keep banging a girl that made his eyes roll back in his head. “There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to…say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f***ing snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*** you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep f***ing you.’”

The no-holds-barred interview has also gotten the singer into some hot water with the African American community after he claimed that “black people love me,” and divulged that when someone recently inquired on how it was to have a “hood pass,” he said that such a thing would really be called a “n***** pass.” He also referred to his penis as a “white supremacist.”

OK dude, you win. The Stoughton Road pothole has nothing over your level of insanity.

John Mayer comparing himself to Tiger Woods?! He offered his two cents on the Tiger drama and he blames it all on Tiger being married. John says that the ONLY reason it’s a big deal is because he is married and cheating. He goes on to say, “I write a lot of dirty text messages to girls, and you’ve never seen any of them. Why? Because if a girl brought a dirty text message from me to the newspapers, they’d say ‘I don’t have an angle here. Big deal. He’s 32 years old. He’s a single guy. If John Mayer has a wife and sends dirty texts, then we got a story.’” John even goes as far to say that Tiger didn’t really mess up at all and he wishes more people would see it that way.

Sandra Bullock Threatens To Cut Meryl Streep!? These 2 amazing actresses are having a little fun with their Oscar race by sending eachother death threats. They are both up for Best Actress and Sandra had a message for Meryl.  She says, “With Meryl, when this whole thing started, I left her a voice mail going, ‘You’ve got to watch your back. I’m gonna cut you. I’m gonna take you down,’ and then she sent me dead orchids and told me to die, so I sent her a case of liquor and told her to toast to white trash.” But wait, Sandra is also up for the Worst Actress Razzie award so how does she feel about that?! She loves it and even plans to show up if she wins. She says she enjoys it as much as the Oscar nom because it represents great balance.

Dr. Conrad Murray, the doctor who was “treating” Michael Jackson at the time of his death, has been summoned by the Los Angeles D.A. and we know they plan on charging him with involuntary manslaughter. Murray met with his lawyer yesterday and has decided to surrender to the court. Conrad has said that he will show up this morning and turn himself in, where they will proceed with the manslaughter charges. If he doesn’t show up and runs away like he did immediately after Michael’s death, the LAPD plans to arrest him.

Hope you’re not tired of Conan O’Brien, because it doesn’t look like he is going to be unemployed for long.  Conan and FOX could make agreements as early as this week about his future on the network. A FOX insider told the New York Post that chances like this don’t come around often and now’s the time to get him. Fox’s entertainment president Peter Reilly called Conan “one of the few guys on the planet who has demonstrated he can do one of these shows every night”. O’Brien’s settlement with the NBC enables him to return to work as early as the fall. FOX has never been successful with the late-night talk show. They tried Chevy Chase and Joan Rivers but both were cancelled within a year of their debut.

We talked about this before and no one believed it. John Mayer and Taylor Swift would never date each other…or would they? Well John is supposedly in Nashville filming CMT Crossroads with Keith Urban and has been spotted hanging with T. Swift. They were seen at a local bar called Cabana in Sunday having dinner with a few others but they were seated next to each other. Sources say this is just the latest in a series of dinner “dates” the two have been spotted at recently.

The Jersey Shore cast may be playing hardball with their contracts but this is what they used to make. Most of them will make more in one season than in a year at their old jobs.

• Nicole “Snookie” Polizzi was working as a receptionist for $13 an hour until she gave up job to make personal appearances.
• The Situation-Mike Sorrentino is the assistant manager of a gym in Staten Island at 35,000 a year.
• DJ Pauly D Delvecchio is a real DJ working clubs mostly in Rhode Island.
• Jenni “JWoww” Farley is an aspiring fashion and Internet designer that hasn’t made much profit yet.
• Ronnie Magro: He never revealed what exactly he does but he wants to open his own tanning salon.
• Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola: Sammi is a former college student who wants to be a fashion designer.
• Vinny Guadagnino: Vinny lives at home with parents and wants to apply to law school.
• Angelina “Jolie” Pivarnick: Angelina is a bartender in New York.

The cast is looking at $120,000 per person to shoot for one month this summer.