I could point out the irony that MTV is handing out awards for videos on a network that has drifted far away from music and videos, but I’m even sick of myself saying it.

Still, they go on with the Video Music Awards show, because it’s a forum for celebrities to do something crazy and get their name in the press.

Here’s the Top 5 non-interesting things that happened at last night’s VMA’s, including why they are dumb.

5. Lady Gaga Dresses In Drag – Even dressing as her male alter-ego Jo Calderone, she’s at the point where nothing she does surprises me. This was just another non-shock.

4. Tony Bennett Does An Amy Winehouse Tribute - A sad story relived, but most of the audience probably said ‘Who’s Tony Bennett?”

3.  Appearances & Wins from Jersey Shore, Foo Fighters, Chris Brown, Britney Spears. Really.  Who else were they gonna give awards to?

2. Kay Perry Wins/Wears Cube Thing On Her Head - I think it was the formal outfit of the Alien Galactic Space Colony that she has joined.  They melted her brain in 2008.

1.  Beyonce’ Performs/Reveals Baby Bump - Dios Mio!  I hate the term baby bump.  What do I care if she’s pregnant?  Good for her, but now Jay Z has 100 problems.  He’s gonna have to change the lyrics to his song “99 Problems.”

Check out this cool Billboard.com article about 13 Things We Didn’t See At The VMA’s.

I’ll admit, I joined the Glee party a little late, for whatever reason when the world is so in love with something I can feel the need to reject it just on principle.  I was wrong.  Now that I’m officially a Gleek it’s my mission to convert  the four people out there that still haven’t found the best thing about Tuesday nights.  Last week: The Britney Spears Episode.

This is exactly what you should love about Glee: pop culture taken to the creative max.  It’s smart, it’s fun and if it doesn’t make you want to sing a little, you should get yourself checked.

Glee’s Slave 4 U

Spears Slave 4 U

Glee’s Me Against The Music

Spears/Madonna Me Against The Music

Next week’s episode: Featuring songs with religious undertones, called “Grilled Chesus” after Finn sees Jesus in a grilled cheese he makes.  Look out for “Only the Good Die Young” – Billy Joel and “One of Us” - Joan Osborne

5. Did you know that Lady Gaga wrote “Telephone” for Britney Spears?? But Britney turned it down and Gaga turned it into a duet for her and Beyonce. But Gaga hasn’t given up. She apparently loves Britney as much as I do and wants to do a duet with Britney as soon as the Monster Ball tour wraps up.

4. Jake Pavelka’s ex-girlfriend says he’s already cheated on Vienna. The woman wishes to remain anonymous for now, but she did give an interview to a some morning show DJ — once she was promised that her voice would be disguised. See….this is where I start to wonder if this woman’s for real or not. Once you get morning DJs involved, there’s no telling. But apparently this woman is going to reveal herself soon, so I guess that’s when we’ll see if she’s the real deal. Anyway, she claims that she and Jake were seeing each other before he left to do “The Bachelor,” and that he was just going to do the show to further his acting career. She says that the day after Jake proposed to Vienna and taping on “The Bachelor” ended, Jake was on the phone with her, telling her he still loved her. She says Jake claimed that the producers of the show forced him to propose to Vienna and that she meant nothing to him.  But Jake and Vienna are sure putting on a good show. She’s moving to LA to be with him as he prepares for “Dancing With The Stars.”

3. Jessica Simpson was on Oprah yesterday to promote her upcoming VH1 show, “The Price of Beauty.” She says after a year of being beaten up for her weight, she’s absolutely comfortable with her body. She says, “I love my curves. I’m not going to ever be size 0, and I don’t want to weigh 90 pounds.” She told Oprah that those infamous mom jeans she wore during the chili cookoff concert were a size 4, and that the biggest she’s ever been is a size 6. (Although one source says Jessica confided to a friend last year that she was upset because she was up to an 8…) Jessica told Oprah she was disappointed with John Mayer for discussing their sex life with “Playboy” magazine. She said, “It was really discouraging because that’s not the John that I knew.” Jessica says he did apologize, but she doesn’t accept it. She says “I don’t resent him. I’m just going to let that go. That part of my life is over.”

2. RadarOnline is reporting that Elin Woods has agreed to move home with Tiger. As of right now, she’s still living in a rental about a mile away from the home they shared until Thanksgiving. A source says that Wednesday, Tiger and Elin were at their home together for about 3 hours and that at one point, Tiger leaned over and kissed Elin on the cheek and they hugged. During that conversation, she agreed to come home, and he’s hoping that will happen this weekend. So… Does this mean he’s already done with therapy in Arizona? One week did the trick? Did I miss something?

1. Lil Wayne STILL hasn’t gone to prison. He was originally supposed to go in February 9, but because he needed some dental work, the judge allowed him to wait until this past Tuesday. So Lil Wayne was ready to show up Tuesday for sentencing and then head straight to Rikers for a year, but a basement fire shut down Manhattan Criminal Court. So instead of going to prison on Tuesday, Lil Wayne went to Madison Square Garden and jumped up on stage with Jay-Z. Afterward, he stopped by the premiere party for “Brooklyn’s Finest.” A source says Lil Wayne showed up with a posse of six, but security wouldn’t let him in. He pitched a fit until one of the movie’s publicists stepped in and let Lil Wayne and his friends inside. Lil Wayne was all ready to head to court yesterday, but at the last minute, court officials announced the courthouse needed to be closed for repairs. So now Lil Wayne doesn’t have to turn himself in until Monday.

5. Mischa Barton has been filming a guest spot on NBC’s “Law & Order:  SVU” but it has been a complete nightmare. An onset source says Mischa only had seven lines to shoot on Tuesday and she flubbed them every time. It ended up taking 10 hours to shoot one scene! Mariska Hargitay had to keep prompting her, “It’s your line, Mischa.” But to her credit, Mischa did apologize every time she screwed up. Still, she wasn’t winning any freinds on the show.

4. George Clooney has been busy lining up A-list celebrities to join him Friday night for a huge telethon to benefit the relief efforts in Haiti. Joining George in LA for “Hope for Haiti” are Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Alicia Keys, Dave Mathews, John Legend, Stevie Wonder, Taylor Swift, Keith Urban, Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. Wyclef Jean will host in NY and joining him will be Sting, Bruce Springsteen, Mary J. Blige, Jennifer Hudson and Shakira. And in London, the lineup includes Rihanna, Bono, The Edge, Coldplay and Jay-Z. Behind the scenes, Sandra Bullock and Angelina Jolie have each donated a million dollars to relief efforts. And Olivia Wilde, Gerard Butler, Meryl Streep and other celebrities are auctioning off their Golden Globe outfits through Artists for Peace and Justice. John Travolta chartered a plane to fly doctors, volunteers and supplies to Haiti. He said he hopes to inspire others to help.

3. Angelina Jolie reportedly is packing up for an extended stay in Europe and she’s planning to adopt another child — without Brad Pitt. A source says during a particularly ugly argument earlier this month, Brad demanded Angelina get professional help for her emotional and physical problems. She refused, so that’s when they decided it was time to end their relationship. The source says Angelina is preparing herself for life without Brad. She’s already packing up her kids’ clothes and her belongings for an extended stay in Europe, where she will soon begin filming the spy thriller, “The Tourist.” She’s also going to rely on her brother, James, to help her during her next adoption.

2. Britney Spears’ dad is worried that his daughter seems to be regressing. Jamie Spears reportedly told her he’s have her committed to a mental ward if she continues to spiral out of control. Sources say she’s recently been throwing tantrums and she’s been pulling out her hair in clumps. Why is she so upset? Britney believed that after her world tour ended, her dad would end his conservatorship. But that wasn’t the case. And after she found out her dad had no intention of giving up control of her personal and business life for the next three years, she fell into a deep depression. It got so ugly that Britney told her dad she was going to kill herself, and he just told her to keep up that kind of talk and he’d have her committed. Britney responded by checking into the Mondrian hotel in West Hollywood for more than a week where she reportedly pulled out her hair, cut it,and then called someone to come put hair extensions back in.

1. Selena Gomez has been following Nick Jonas around on his concert tour. She was at the big kickoff concert in Dallas and she was at his show in Detroit and Chicago, where she spent a lot of time on his tour bus. In fact, one girl says Selena was sitting directly in front of her at Nick’s concert in Detroit and when he started singing “Stay,” Selena kept covering her face and shaking her head because she couldn’t stop crying. What about these lyrics would have her so upset? “It’s hard to believe where we are now. Your hand in mine, babe, feels right somehow. But now its okay, so don’t make a sound, ’cause its almost perfect. So, baby, don’t you look down. We’ve had our past, leave that behind ’cause none of it lasts. All that we have is tonight.”

5. Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood reportedly got engaged. Marilyn is 41 and Rachel is 22. The two of them began dating in 2006, but broke up a couple years later. They got back together, but broke up again and now they’re back together and engaged. Marilyn reportedly popped the question while he was performing on stage in Paris Monday. Marilyn was previously married to burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese.

4. Real drama for one Real Housewife of Orange County. Tamra Barney’s hubby Simon has filed for divorce, charging her with infidelity and verbal abuse! Tamra moved out of their home earlier this week, but sources say she had no idea Simon was filing divorce papers. One source says the show changed Tamra and Simon simply had enough. Simon’s claim of adultery is especially interesting since Tamra has been giving fellow housewife Gretchen nothing but grief about how she wasn’t faithful to her former fiance. Now SHE’S the one being accused of cheating. The Barneys have been married for 11 years and have three children together. Tamra has a son from a previous marriage.

3. Khloe Kardashian says she’s not doing anything to prevent it, but she’s definitely not pregnant. She admits she’s up on the scale a little, though — gaining about 7 pounds of “love” weight.  Meantime, the “National Enquirer” is reporting that Kourtney Kardashian’s baby daddy has proposed. Reportedly Scott Disick was so moved by the birth of their son that he asked Kourtney to marry him.

2. Britney Spears reportedly dumped Jason Trawick after finding out he hooked up with some woman during a boys night out. A source says Jason left this LA bar called Roger Room with two bottles of water and a blonde who looked a lot like Britney, but definitely wasn’t. The source says Jason had his arms around her and that they definitely looked like they were together for the night.

1. Miley Cyrus has been dating Liam Hemsworth since they met on the set of their movie “The Last Song” last summer. And now the two of them are living together — at her parents’ house! Miley reportedly told Billy Ray and Tish that if they didn’t let Liam move in with them, she was moving out. They decided to let her have her way, but insisted he stay in the guest room. This isn’t the first time Miley’s boyfriend has lived with her family. A little over a year ago, Billy Ray allowed his then 15-year-old daughter’s boyfriend Justin Gaston to move in with them. A source says Billy Ray believes it’s better to keep Miley on a short leash so he can monitor her rather than alienate her and risk her a rebellion.

5. Jim Carrey plays several characters in “A Christmas Carol,” which was the big winner at the box office this weekend, taking in $31 million. Michael Jackson’s “This Is It” took in $14 million for second place. Opening in far fewer theaters was the new George Clooney comedy, “The Men Who Stare at Goats.” It was third wtih $13.3 million, followed by “The Fourth Kind” ironically in fourth, and “Paranormal Activity” rounded out the top five.

4. Is Aerosmith still together? Joe Perry’s not so sure. He told the “Las Vegas Sun” that he THINKS Steven quit…at least as far as he can tell. Joe said, “I got off the plane two nights ago and I saw online that Steven said that he was going to leave the band. I don’t know for how long, indefinitely or whatever. Other than that, I don’t know.”

3. Khloe Kardashian and new hubby Lamar Odom are thinking about buying Britney Spears’ old home in the exclusive gated community of Summit Circle in Beverly Hills. Khloe says she is desperate to find a house because she and Lamar have been bouncing from hotel to hotel since they got married in September. Khloe says whatever house she buys has to have plenty of room for kids, even though she doesn’t plan to start trying for at least another year.

2. Kristen Stewart quit school to pursue acting, but she took classes with tutors on her movie sets and at the age of 19, she finally has her high school diploma — and she wants you to know she graduated with honors. Kristen actually finished her courses at exactly the same time her character Bella graduated in “Eclipse.” So the fictional graduation ceremony she shot for the movie sort of served as her real-life one, too. Kristen even had an extra come back to the set, shake her hand and give her a diploma while she was still wearing the cap and gown.

1. Three songs into her concert in Perth, Australia, Britney Spears kept on lip-synching as fans started heading for the doors. Hundreds left because they were upset that they paid up to $1370 to see Britney mouth her way through her performance. One fan says she drove two hours to see Britney and she wants a refund. She said, “I want my money back or I want her to sing properly. It cost me half a week’s wage…and it was a waste.” Even the Australian government is getting in on this. The Minister for Fair Trade in New South Wales is considering requiring Britney to disclose on tickets for future shows that she doesn’t sing live. Virginia Judge said, “Australians would not tolerate a ‘Mickey Mouse’ performance. Let’s be clear:  Live means live.”

Octo-mom had her eye on Jon Gosselin and she just might get him! In the world of ridiculous reality TV plots, this one might be the worst. Jon has agreed to star in a new show in which he will date Octomom Nadya Suleman. The producer of the show “Cheaters” is the one who came up with this idea and both parties have agreed to be a part of it. The pilot is going to be called, “Jon – Kate = Jon + Octomom”,will follow Jon as he contemplates what hooking up with Octomom could really be like. He’s totally creeped out by the idea that if they got married, they’d have 22 kids. Even weirder is Octomom’s storyline. She is going to have an obsession with him and talk openly about wanting to marry him. Sources say Jon is desperate for fame and fortune and he will literally do anything to get it.

An exotic dancer has stepped forward and said that she had an affair with Fergie husband Josh Duhamel. The woman, Nicole Forrester is claiming that Josh was in Atlanta filming a movie when he came into her club and told her she was hot. He proceeded to invite her to his 820/night hotel room to spend the night. She supposedly passed a polygraph with her story, however Josh caught wind of this and is outright denying everything. His rep says that this is common for magazines to pay strippers money to claim they slept with an actor and this is exactly what happened.

The burglary ring we talked about a little bit ago seems to be much bigger than people thought. These 19 and 20 year olds who robbed stars like Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge had gotten away with many more robberies and had an extensive plan to rob more. After investigating them, 8 have been arrested and all are going to be charged with various felonies. The robbers got away with stealing a gun from Brian Austin Green’s home as well as Megan Fox’s tshirts. They also have arial views of 50 more homes including, Mariah Carey, Rihanna, Jessica Biel and Britney Spears. It’s looking like these kids were rather professional and will be facing some serious jail time!

KANYE WEST has taken a sudden interest in Hinduism and it looks like he’s headed to India. After his MTV Awards meltdown and dropping out of his tour, he has announced that he wants to chill out at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in Pondicherry, India.  Hindu leaders there are very excited for his arrival and say they hope he takes his time seriously. The leaders say that doing so will be crucial in finding the spiritual guidance he needs.

Britney Spears has cleaned up her act and wants everyone around her to do the same. The Circus tour is headed to Australia and she has demanded mandatory drug tests for all of those who want to stay employed by her. This a zero tolerance policy-NO drugs and NO drinking at all. She is trying to maintain her shared custody of the kids and doesn’t want any temptations around. Apparently every single one of the 150 tour employees have singed the agreements to undergo drug testing.

There’s a new couple in town and they both share the same name-TAYLOR! Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner weren’t helping the rumors that they’re together when they embraced at her concert on Friday. A Youtube video shows the Twilight star sitting in the front row at Swift’s concert in Chicago with his eyes locked on her. At the end of the show, Swift gives a few of the front row fans hugs and of course Taylor Lautner’s hug lasted longer that any of the others.  The crowd of course started cheering. The Taylors continue saying they are “just friends”, however when Swift was asked about their kiss in the movie “Valentine’s Day”, she said it was life-changing!

5. A couple years ago, Britney Spears ran over a photographer’s foot. Right after it happened, Ricardo Mendoza said he wanted to let bygones be bygones, but he’s since had a change of heart. Now he’s suing for over $220K in damages. Most of it is for general damages, but he wants her to fork over almost $17K for his medical bills and $10K for any future foot problems.

4. For almost 8 years, Enrique Iglesias and Anna Kournikova have made a semi-career out of toying with the press about the status of their relationship, and now here we go again. The two of them spent 40 minutes inside the Cartier boutique in Paris, but it’s not known if they walked out wtih an engagement ring or not. There were rumors they got married in 2004 and Anna even wore a wedding band, but that ended up being a ruse. Then a couple years ago, Enrique was telling everybody they’d gotten divorced. And then last year Anna was saying she’d never get married. And now Enrique says he’s been trying to get her to say yes, but she ignores him. So who knows! More importantly, who cares!

3. Eva Longoria Parker already has a Bachelor of Science in Kinesiology from Texas A&M. Now she wants to go back to school to get her masters degree in Chicano studies and political science. She told “Hola” magazine that she wants to learn more about the history of the country her family comes from. While Eva was born in Texas, her family is from Monterrey, Mexico.

2. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart reportedly are going to go public with their relationship. They’ve allegedly done a tell-all interview and a photo shoot with “Harper’s Bazaar” and it’s supposedly in their December issue.

1. Is Khloe Kardashian’s wedding really happening or is it a big sham? There’s evidence to support both sides. Kim Kardashian tweeted a big thank you to Platinum Motorsports for providing the Rolls Royce Phantom for the wedding. And “Star” magazine got an official wedding invitation from Bruce and Kris Jenner, but it did seem awfully cheap and it didn’t mention a location. It just gave an email address for RSVPs. But then Lamar Odom backed out of his bachelor party last night, saying he decided to just have a quiet dinner with his teammates and a few close friends. Khloe reportedly had a low-key bachelorette party at some hotel in LA — just dinner by the pool and then spa treatments. But at a benefit Tuesday night, Khloe and Lamar showed up and they were noticeably unaffectionate. Fellow guest Mya was even overheard telling a friend that she’s sure the engagement is fake and that this is one big publicity stunt. Plus, Khloe still isn’t wearing an engagement ring. And with her personality, she would DEFINITELY be showing that off while having her tongue shoved down Lamar’s throat. That just ain’t happening. So even if they do get married, nobody’s buying that they’re truly in love. Most believe Khloe wanted to steal some of the spotlight off of her sisters, and for this week at least — mission accomplished.

5. Ellen Pompeo and her husband Chris Ivery have welcomed a healthy baby girl into the world and they’ve named her Stella Luna Pompeo Ivery. Also, Jude Law’s former fling has given him his fourth child — and it’s a girl! Jude briefly dated a model named Samantha Burke and a few months later found out he was going to be a daddy again. His rep says Jude is no longer in a relationship with Samantha, but he will be a fully supportive part of the child’s life.

4. Adnan Ghalib is finally free. His wife filed for separation in January of last year, citing irreconcilable differences. Yeah, I guess when your husband is dating Britney Spears, it’s pretty irreconcilable. But now that he’s divorced, does this mean Adnan and Britney can finally be together? Not yet. Her dad Jamie filed for and received a 3-year restraining order against Adnan. We’ll have to wait and see if true love can wait.

3. Miley Cyrus performed a sold-out show at the Staples Center in LA last night and wanted to celebrate at Katsuya. Miley wanted privacy for her and her posse of 100 no matter what it cost, so she bought out the restaurant for the night. Sources say she danced almost the entire night, mainly with her “Last Song” co-star Liam Hemsworth. They’ve reportedly been dating for 5 months, even though she still claims to be single.

2. John Travolta testified against two defendants accused of blackmailing him after his son Jett passed away in the Bahamas in January. John testified that his son was autistic and that his son suffered from seizures that would hit every 5-10 days and lasted about a minute. Jett suffered a seizure while the family was on vacation in the Bahamas and hit his head. John wanted to fly his son back to the States for treatment and signed a piece of paper showing that he refused an ambulance. But he later changed his mind and Jett was taken to the hospital there, where he was pronounced dead. Paramedic Tarino Lightbourne and former Senator Pleasant Bridgewater tried to blackmail John for $25 million, saying they would release that paper he signed to the press if he didn’t pay up.

1. One person who’s not buying the story Mackenzie Phillips is telling about her 10-year relationship with her dad is her stepmom. Michelle Phillips says Mckenzie told everyone in their extended family about this alleged relationship 12 years ago, but then claimed she was only joking. And now Mackenzie’s out with a new book talking about it again. Mackenzie says she waited until now to come out with it because she didn’t want to wreck her late father’s legacy, but Michelle says, “She’s really protecting his legacy now, isn’t she?” She goes on to say that John was a bad parent and a drug addict, but she doesn’t believe they had a relationship. Michelle says, “Mackenzie has a lot of mental illness. She’s had a needle stuck up her arm for 35 years. She was arrested for heroin and coke just recently. She did ‘Celebrity Rehab’ and now she writes a book. The whole thing is timed.” And she thinks it is unconscionable that Oprah would let her on her show to spew this garbage.