Fresh off the presses today, Cousin Eddie says he wants to stay in the Great White North.

Randy Quaid is a strange character these days.  He has a semi-reputable career in the movie industry, but since 2009, he’s been acting like a crack head who’s drinking too much Red Bull.  He’s been charged with skipping on his hotel bill, squatting and most recently missing court dates.  Is this really helping his career?

Randy and wife Evi Quaid were arrested last Wednesday in Vancouver after police discovered that the couple are wanted on outstanding warrants in the U.S. for missing court dates. During their immigration hearing they asked to seek asylum in Canada so that they can escape what they call the “Hollywood star whackers” who they believe murdered both David Carradine and Heath Ledger.

Randy Quaid says he did not go to Canada to escape the warrants, but to restart his career. During the hearing, he said: “I love Canada. It’s been a very welcoming nation to me. I would not do anything to besmirch my reputation.” They are being held on $500K bail.

Besmirch or not, here’s some of Cousin Eddie’s greatest hits: