You know if your dog or cat could talk, you’d be paying out a LOT of cash to keep them quiet.

Here’s the Top 5 list of Things Animals Learn From Watching us:

5. Dog doo is such a valuable commodity it should be collected and put away.

4. Humans lack the flexibility to properly groom themselves,but take great pleasure in licking their friends clean.

3. The best way to attract a mate is to shave off all your fur.

2. It’s more fun to sit and stare at a box than it is to do the fun things the people in the box are doing.

1. All that “Alpha Male” talk is bogus. It’s obvious that the head woman runs the family.