5. The camp’s posted “Teenagers Fornicating in the Woods” Threat Level has been elevated to red.
4. Your shoes are stored neatly together under your bed. Your bunkmate’s shoes are strewn 20 yards apart by the edge of the woods.
3. Your “Cabin Mom” is Jamie Lee Curtis and even she’s starting to look a little nervous.
2. The guy sitting next to you is toasting his marshmallows on the blade of his chainsaw.
1. Your camp counselors have no other film credits.