5.  You’re called for double dribbling, throwing an elbow and traveling…and that was just on the way to the photocopier at work.
4.  You just voted to give the federal courts jurisdiction to disband Cornell University.
3.  Your iPod is constantly looping the CBS NCAA tournament theme song.
2.  Before climbing to the top of the clock tower, you festively paint the bullets in your team colors.
1.  Wanting to stay home and watch the games all day Thursday and Friday, you tell the boss you have a death in the family.  They ask for proof and you have to decide which grandparent to murder.