Note: You can try, but you can't scientifically fix a hangover.

Chances are, if you’re not having a green beer today, you know someone who will.

That got me thinking about the results of having a good St. Patrick’s Day…the hangover. Typically they’re not as funny as the movie of the same name that came out last year.

So, I did some research and here’s what I found.

• According to WebMD: A hangover is really the symptoms of acute withdrawal, in which your body reacts to not having a drug in its system anymore.
• Doctors say; contrary to popular belief, drinking more while hung over is not going to make you feel better. In fact, the other home remedies you may turn to, such as greasy food, probably won’t work, either.
• The reason there’s no cure: there’s no single scientifically proven reason for a hangover (other than drinking a lot.)  You can’t find a cure if you don’t know the source of the problem.

Here comes the science:

According to an article on CNN.com today:

What is a hangover? One theory blames chemicals in some alcoholic drinks called congeners, which could be toxic.  They contribute to alcohol’s unique taste, but they can also interfere with cell function

A different theory contends that drinking causes dehydration because alcohol increases urine output. Alcohol inhibits the release of an antidiuretic hormone, meaning the kidneys don’t conserve water as well, and you urinate more.

Alcohol may also irritate your stomach, prompting a condition called gastritis in which the stomach lining gets inflamed. Then you’re spending the next day hugging the toilet.

There’s evidence that a hangover is a marker that you may be damaging your brain with alcohol. Yes, you are getting dumber.

To recap, doctors say:

1. Food won’t help cure it
2. Vitamin supplements probably won’t help cure it.
3. Drinking more won’t help.  Where’s the logic in that?
4. Water will help, but only because dehydration is a symptom.

Otherwise your drunk butt is simply stuck with a bottle of aspirin and time as the cure all.  Of course there is the option of not drinking anything at all.  Almost forgot.  This is Wisconsin.