Congratulations to jazz sensation Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr.
If you just said “Who?” …you’re not alone. He was the winner last night on America’s Got Talent. The name is this show is a misnomer for so many reasons, but none more apparent than this:
As hard as you might try, I would bet that you could not name one of the top winners from show.
The show has been around since 2006. Who are the winners? Where are they now? At least American Idol has produced some B-Level celebrities like Carrie Underwood.
I say the show is bunk because even though there may be some contestants who have a unique ability, they clearly don’t have what it takes to make it in the world of show business. They don’t even have the crazed David Hasselhoff anymore.
At least they gave us a sweet Def Leppard montage last night.
Charlie Sheen is making the rounds without a publicist which can only mean 1 thing…complete awesomeness for all of us!
Check out what he had to say about healing really, really fast and regrets on CNN with Piers Morgan:
Top 5 Charlie Sheen Quotes (so far):
5. “I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.”
4. “I’m so tired of pretending my life isn’t perfect and bitching and just winning every second and I’m not perfect and bitchin’.”
3. “There are parts of me that are Dennis Hopper.”
2. “I’m not fair game. I’m not a soft target. It’s over. There’s a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.”
1. “The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.”
Glee you had an AMAZING Christmas episode, thank you. Little did I know you threw everything you had at it because you were checking out for 8 weeks. I know Seacrest has to have his American Idol spotlight or he gets cranky, but COME ON! 2 months?! Wanna know what’s even more sad about this?
Now instead of watching peppy, talented American teens deal with drama and triumph through witty dialog I have to watch mostly dumb, talentless real American teens deal with rejection during the first weeks of Idol. I dare you to find anything this season on American Idol that is as groundbreaking or entertaining as this:
Oh boy, file this under the best courtroom drama since the Anna Nicole Smith death trial. Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail and some inpatient rehab time.
Apparently she thought she could ‘bank’ class visits and other probation stuff so she could go off and work party.
She asks for some leniency here:
If only she acted like this in movies, maybe Herbie Fully Loaded would be a classic! Still think she’s taking the situation seriously? Look what Perez found on her middle fingernail… (WARNING…NOT FOR THE KIDS)
He swears this image wasn’t doctored in any way, and I think she’s just crazy enough make this kind of a statement, so I believe him.
OMG, then, last night it was time to roll out the rest of the Lohan circus, beginning with papa Lohan on Larry King Live. Is it crazy to think that he’s the one in this mess with the best plan for her?
I get it, she’s a spoiled, self-involved, shallow girl who got fame way too early and has to deal with a wacky family, but does she have to fit the cliche so perfectly?
Tonight the new season of Locked Up Abroad begins airing on National Geographic Channel, and you should be there, but beware, once you start watching you may never be able to quit. I find myself channel surfing and landing on it. All the sudden I look at the clock and it’s 3 hours later, no joke. I was too busy seeing how some girl and her boyfriend tried to smuggle hashish out of statues in Bali to eat or notice the sun go down.
It’s sort of Rescue 911 for the new millennium, only this time, you get the other side of the story. Crazy hostage stories, drug mule stories, and off the wall one-of-a-kind stories are featured with reenactments. The best part: people tell their own stories, and sometimes they’re still in a creepy foreign prison (but you don’t know they are in prison until the end of the episode. It’s a SHOCKING surprise). Out of control!
It’s a little like being fascinated by a train crashing into a car. You know you shouldn’t watch it, but you can’t take your eyes off it. I feel a little scummy for making some torturous story of the demise of someone into entertainment. Although, lots of times they get locked up for a reason, and they did choose to be on tv, so am I that bad for wanting to watch? They fought the law and the law won.
This Sunday I happily walked into Sex and the City 2 ready for a good time with my best girls: Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha. Popcorn, diet soda and anticipation joined me.
What I ended up with was almost 3 hours of my life lost that I can’t get back, $20 in the hole, and a stomach ache. Here’s the deal, if you at all liked Sex and the City, DO NOT SEE THIS. It ruined my friendship with Carrie in particular. I was always a Carrie girl. I thought she was stylish, semi-down-to-earth, and clever. Not anymore.
Carrie Issue #1: The hats in the movie
Excuse me, but did you actually think that the had Carrie boards the plane with is ‘fashion forward?’ Not so much. Maybe you’re trying to be funny by pushing the envelope way too far, but she’s a little too silly. I basically went to the movie in the first place for the clothes, but harem pants? Weren’t those cool 2 years ago?
Carrie Issue #2: Her semi-down-to-earth charm. FAIL!
Carrie finally gets everything that she wants, lives in a beautiful apartment, travels with friends, doesn’t even do that much work (we only see her writing a little bit), and yet she manages to mess it all up. Self created drama should be illegal after the age of 17.
Carrie Issue #3: She thinks the puns are still funny
At a certain point it just gets annoying to say “friendtervention.” May I paraphrase a quote from Mean Girls: Carrie, stop trying to make “friendtervention” happen! It’s not going to happen!
Clearly this entire movie was concocted to make more cash…most sequels are, but did you have to make it so obvious that you weren’t trying so hard?
I watched Oprah on pins and needles yesterday because she had the scandalous Sarah Ferguson, Dutchess of York on to explain here recent shady deal. Apparently she was selling access to her former husband for $500,000. $40,000 was to be paid upfront. What she didn’t know is that she was talking to newspapers.
Cut to sitting down with Queen of TV: Oprah. Now, was it just me or did this interview leave you with even more questions about the event that transpired? For instance:
-Fergie said she needed the $40K to help a friend who was in trouble.
1. Is this an invisible friend?
2. You are still connected somewhat to the royal family. Isn’t there some way they could help you help your friend if it was that important?
3. What are you doing with someone who only wants to be your friend for cash? Isn’t the first rule of rich and famous people to not deal at all with people who want to get close to them in order to get cash?
-Fergie said she had some wine…but never said she was totally hammered.
Guess what Fergie…this was your out! Haven’t you been watching every celebrity screw up from the last 5 years? Say you were trashed and that you have many addiction problems, then get yourself into a rehab facility (out of the press eyes). If Tiger can do it for sexual addiction, you can totally do it for this.
-Fergie stated in the Oprah interview that she hadn’t seen the entire tape incriminating her.
1. I don’t believe you. I have a feeling it was on a loop while you cried and felt sorry for yourself.
2. What kind of people do you have around you Fergie that wouldn’t suggest you watch it before a WORLDWIDE interview? Duh. I’ll tell you something, I would not want the first time I saw an incriminating video to be before Miss Oprah, let alone millions of viewers. It just makes you look stupid.
Let me just start by saying that the new season’s of Bravo’s Real Housewives of NYC and New Jersey have been drama packed and totally messed up, which is just how I like them. You can learn alot from middle school girls clicks and since these women really haven’t evolved past that, they should take some free advice.
Here’s the thing Danielle (NJ), Kelly (NYC) and Jill (NYC) I know that you’re hell bent on being tv stars, but your 15 minutes are almost up, and I think you’re mental health is at stake. When girls kick you out of their click, or simply say they don’t want you in it, that’s a pretty clear message to back off, not go on a vacation with them.
Kelly, going to St. Johns with a group of women who have decided to not let you fully into their click can only lead to heartache. You flipped out so bad that I’m seriously wondering if you were even really totally there in your mind. You may be some sort of writer and an ex-model turned wanna-be photographer, but let me give you a hint, you are no match of wits with Bethany, so you might as well just stop trying.
See the meltdown:
Jill, it seems you’re going to heat up the St. John’s vacation next week arriving to surprise the ladies after you dissed their invitation the first time around. If I could go back in time and jump in my tv I would tell you to stand down. There was major drama and you may think you want to be part of it, but you’re going to be mistaken.
See a preview of Thursday’s trainwreck:
While we’re on the subject of not being wanted, Danielle from New Jersey, that entire family of people does not want you all up in their business. Tables have even been flipped over it. They’ve been perfectly clear..THEY DON’T LIKE YOU. So stop awkwardly calling them and inviting them to social events. Have a little more respect for yourself and just move on.
And Bravo, whatever you’re feeding these women or pumping in the air they are breathing, it’s working for you, I’m totally hooked.
Congratulations to jazz sensation Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr.
