I could point out the irony that MTV is handing out awards for videos on a network that has drifted far away from music and videos, but I’m even sick of myself saying it.

Still, they go on with the Video Music Awards show, because it’s a forum for celebrities to do something crazy and get their name in the press.

Here’s the Top 5 non-interesting things that happened at last night’s VMA’s, including why they are dumb.

5. Lady Gaga Dresses In Drag – Even dressing as her male alter-ego Jo Calderone, she’s at the point where nothing she does surprises me. This was just another non-shock.

4. Tony Bennett Does An Amy Winehouse Tribute - A sad story relived, but most of the audience probably said ‘Who’s Tony Bennett?”

3.  Appearances & Wins from Jersey Shore, Foo Fighters, Chris Brown, Britney Spears. Really.  Who else were they gonna give awards to?

2. Kay Perry Wins/Wears Cube Thing On Her Head - I think it was the formal outfit of the Alien Galactic Space Colony that she has joined.  They melted her brain in 2008.

1.  Beyonce’ Performs/Reveals Baby Bump - Dios Mio!  I hate the term baby bump.  What do I care if she’s pregnant?  Good for her, but now Jay Z has 100 problems.  He’s gonna have to change the lyrics to his song “99 Problems.”

Check out this cool Billboard.com article about 13 Things We Didn’t See At The VMA’s.

I’m thinking Hurricane Irene isn’t going to be a big ‘ol party for everyone, so I’m getting these songs that sing about hurricanes, or reference them out of the way right now.

Hmmm.  I’ve always wondered this. Is it a failure if your music career brings you to a permanent spot in Las Vegas.

I guess that remains to be seen, but the latest artist to plant themselves in Sin City is Rod Stewart.

In speaking to USAToday about his two year stint that starts tonight at Ceaser’s Palace, the 66 year old Rod the Bod said:

“I keep fit, and after anything I do, like cycling, swimming, football, I hop in a bath of ice water up to about my (privates).  “Works wonders, it does.”

OK.  That might just be more information about Rod Stewart’s junk that I can handle in a day.  By the way.  A lot of artists have hit Vegas recently.  Celene Dion, Elton John and soon, Shania Twain are all getting in on the action.

Maybe CSI can bring in Rod to breathe some life into the show.

Maybe it’s better that we don’t take summer off.

Enjoy this collection of back to school arrors errors from Failblog.org.

I joined a bunch of tweens on the opening day of Glee in 3D!!  Gotta say, I was a little nervous about the prospect of a concert movie, let alone one in 3D…I was half wrong.  Concert movie…satisfying.  3D…a little lame.  Maybe I’m old school, but I don’t think that just because you have the technology doesn’t mean you need to use it.  Glee cast members running at me  in 3D is not really necessary, it’s just sort of there. 

The concert itself was pretty great.  I could have used some mashups (“Singin’ in the Rain”/”Umbrella” anyone?) and some Mr. Schuester (though Gwyneth Paltrow as pretty amazing), but all in all the music was great.  Some of the Gleek vingnettes were a little slow, but they also produced the best part of the movie….watch this clip of a kid warbler….

Can’t get enough Glee?  Skip a second round at the theater and watch the season finale of The Glee Project.  Kids compete to get a 6 episode run next season.  It’s dramatic and it’s fun, plus they make music videos like this mashup of “Ice, Ice Baby” and “Under Pressure”:

Whoops.

Are you putting off car maintenance because of the rough economy?

I know I’m not much of a believer in the 3,000 mile-oil change rule. In fact I’ve always been a fan of maintaining a car for as long as you can. I’ll admit, I’ve been responsible for driving more than one car, until it just completely quits. Apparently I’m not alone.

In a new survey from Triple A, they say:

More than half of American drivers — 54% — said they don’t want the financial burden of a new car, so they’re keeping their older ones running.

One in four drivers said they have neglected repairs and maintenance on their vehicles in the past year because of the slow economy, increasing the likelihood that they’ll face a major, costly repair.

Yet 28% of drivers could not afford a $2,000 repair bill, while 18% could not pay a $1,000 tab.

I’ve found the real secret to keeping a car running is to properly address it by a pet name. For example: “Come on baby, if you get me to work one more day I promise to give you super unleaded the next time we fill up.” Works like a charm.

If you choose to go the route swearing like a sailor at the car, not only do you look foolish, you also get to spend more time with your favorite car salesman.  Ain’t that a treat!

There is a new report out today that says kids aren’t getting as much money from the Tooth Fairy as they used to.

The Tooth Fairy has been hit by the recession. A new survey by Visa says kids are getting an average of 40 cents less under their pillows this year compared to last year. The new going rate: $2.60, though the amount varies according to region. Children in the West get a whopping $2.80 on average, while those in the East must make do with $2.10.

To this I say BOO HOO!!! Please note the sarcasm. I was happy to get a quarter, maybe a dollar if it was a front tooth. One time I didn’t tell my parents that a tooth had come out, put it under my pillow and I got NOTHING.

That was about the time that I gave up on the whole notion of the Tooth Fairy. That is, until I saw Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the 2010 movie Tooth Fairy. After watching that, I nearly gave up on everything. I still am surprised that I sat through that one.

For all the witty plays that Amy Winehouse had on rehab, the realities of alcohol and drug abuse and addiction are just sad.

On Saturday, Winehouse was found dead in her London apartment at the age of 27.  Her struggles with addiction were well played out in the public’s eye, but in the end she was human after all.   At this point there is no evidence that drugs were in her apartment, or even that they had anything to do with her death.  It is clear that they took a toll on her.

Fellow Brit Adele, who Winehouse paved the way for, released a statement today saying Amy was ‘brilliant” and “fearlessly hilarious.”

M.I.A., known for her hard hitting track Paper Planes released the tribute track “27” on her Twitter feed.  Have a listen:

27 by _M_I_A_

Winehouse’s 2003 debut album, Frank, was critically successful in the UK and was nominated for the Mercury Prize. Her 2006 follow-up album, Back to Black, led to six Grammy Award nominations and five wins, tying the then record for the most wins by a female artist in a single night, and made Winehouse the first British female to win five Grammys,^[3][4] including three of the “Big Four“: Best New Artist, Record of the Year and Song of the Year. On 14 February 2007, she won a BRIT Award for Best British Female Artist; she had also been nominated for Best British Album.

She won the Ivor Novello Award three times, one in 2004 for Best Contemporary Song (musically and lyrically) for “Stronger Than Me“, one in 2007 for Best Contemporary Song for “Rehab“, and one in 2008 for Best Song Musically and Lyrically for “Love Is a Losing Game“, among other distinctions. The album was the third biggest seller of the 2000s in the United Kingdom – Source: Wikipedia

When it comes to her hit song “Rehab, ” Winehouse was asked by The Daily Mail on August 3, 2007 how she writes songs. Said Winehouse: “With ‘Rehab’ I was walking down the street with Mark Ronson, who produced my last album. I just sang the hook out loud. It was quite silly really.” She was then asked, “Did you sing the ‘no no no’ bit as well?’” “Yeah, I sang the whole line exactly as it turned out on the record! Mark laughed and asked me who wrote it because he liked it. I told him that I’d just made it up but that it was true and he encouraged me to turn it into a song, which took me 5 minutes. It wasn’t hard. It was about what my old management company (run by former Spice Girls manager Simon Fuller) wanted me to do. – Source : Artistfacts

The “27 Club,” notorious for aritists who have died at the age of 27 now contains the names; Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain and now Winehouse.

What…no Beiber Awards?

Last Friday Night… er… make that last night, MTV unveiled it’s Video Music Award nominees. Katy Perry got the most.

If I’m not mistaken, MTV stopped airing videos sometime back in early 1991.  So that begs the question.  Isn’t this MTV just tooting it’s own horn?  Does anyone actually pay attention to these awards? I think the answer is a pretty obvious “No.”

Video may have killed the radio star, but the iTunes killed the video star.

The show will be broadcast on MTV on Sunday, August 28th at 9 p.m. Viewers can vote online for nominees at vma.mtv.com.  If you’re really interested in it though, here’s the noms:

VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Adele, “Rolling In The Deep”
Tyler, The Creator, “Yonkers”
Katy Perry, “Firework”
Bruno Mars, “Grenade”
Beastie Boys, “Make Some Noise”

BEST FEMALE VIDEO
Adele, “Rolling In The Deep”
Katy Perry, “Firework”
Beyoncé, “Run The World (Girls)”
Nicki Minaj, “Super Bass”
Lady Gaga, “Born This Way”

BEST MALE VIDEO
Cee Lo Green, “F*** You”
Eminem feat. Rihanna, “Love The Way You Lie”
Bruno Mars, “Grenade”
Kanye West feat. Rihanna & Kid Cudi, “All Of The Lights”
Justin Bieber, “U Smile”

BEST HIP HOP VIDEO
Lil Wayne feat. Cory Gunz, “6’7’”
Kanye West feat. Rihanna & Kid Cudi, “All Of The Lights”
Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes, “Look At Me Now”
Nicki Minaj, “Super Bass”
Lupe Fiasco, “The Show Goes On”

BEST NEW ARTIST
Foster The People, “Pumped Up Kicks”
Wiz Khalifa, “Black and Yellow”
Tyler, The Creator, “Yonkers”
Big Sean feat. Chris Brown, “My Last”
Kreayshawn, “Gucci Gucci”

BEST POP VIDEO
Adele, “Rolling In The Deep”
Bruno Mars, “Grenade”
Pitbull feat. NE-YO, Nayer & Afrojack, “Give Me Everything”
Katy Perry, “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)”
Britney Spears, “Till The World Ends”

BEST ROCK VIDEO
The Black Keys, “Howlin For You”
Foo Fighters, “Walk”
Foster The People, “Pumped Up Kicks”
Mumford & Sons, “The Cave”
Cage The Elephant, “Shake Me Down”

BEST COLLABORATION
Pitbull feat. NE-YO, Nayer & Afrojack, “Give Me Everything”
Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes, “Look At Me Now”
Kanye West feat. Rihanna & Kid Cudi, “All Of The Lights”
Katy Perry feat. Kanye West, “E.T.”
Nicki Minaj feat. Drake, “Moment 4 Life”

BEST ART DIRECTION
Adele, “Rolling In The Deep”
Katy Perry, “Firework”
Lady Gaga, “Judas”
Kanye West, “Power”
Death Cab For Cutie, “You Are A Tourist”

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY
Beyoncé, “Run The World (Girls)”
Britney Spears, “Till The World Ends”
Lady Gaga, “Judas”
Bruno Mars, “The Lazy Song”
LMFAO feat. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock, “Party Rock Anthem”

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Adele, “Rolling In The Deep”
Beyoncé, “Run The World (Girls)”
Eminem feat. Rihanna, “Love The Way You Lie”
Katy Perry, “Teenage Dream”
Thirty Seconds To Mars, “Hurricane”

BEST DIRECTION
Adele, “Rolling In The Deep”
Beastie Boys, “Make Some Noise”
Katy Perry feat. Kanye West, “E.T.”
Thirty Seconds To Mars, “Hurricane”
Eminem feat. Rihanna, “Love The Way You Lie”

BEST EDITING
Katy Perry feat. Kanye West, “E.T.”
Thirty Seconds To Mars, “Hurricane”
Adele, “Rolling In The Deep”
Kanye West feat. Rihanna & Kid Cudi, “All Of The Lights”
Manchester Orchestra, “Simple Math”

BEST SFX (SPECIAL EFFECTS)
Manchester Orchestra, “Simple Math”
Katy Perry feat. Kanye West, “E.T.”
Kanye West, “Power”
Linkin Park, “Waiting for the End”
Chromeo, “Don’t Turn the Lights On”

This is the poster that CBS unveiled this week to promote Ashton Kutcher’s upcoming role on Two And One Half Men.  Charlie who?

With Jon Cryer’s expression, it’s not half bad.  That is, until you see what bloggers have done with it.  Now that’s getting better.  Scroll down for more.

Now for the funny stuff: