I don’t know if there’s anything more badass than girls smoking cigars and drinking cans of beer.

It’s not what you image when you picture an Olympian, but hey, these are Canadian girls who play hockey that we’re talking about.

After taking the gold from the American’s yesterday, the Canadians returned to the ice after the stadium emptied out.  They were still in uniform and had their gold medals around their neck.  They also brought cigars, cans of Molson Beer and bottles of champagne that they were swigging from.

Really, who cares if they were celebrating?

I guess the International Olympic Committee does, saying they were not acting like Olympians.

I’d say their real mistake was not realizing there were photographers still in the stadium.

I’m not sure what’s more insane, that stupid pot hole that I hit on Stoughton Road which they don’t seem to fix or John Mayer.

I guess it’s John Mayer. Remember these are his quotes which fall into the TMI category….

The singer dished on exes Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson to Playboy Magazine, saying that some of the rumors that Aniston dumped him over his Twitter addiction were actually fairly accurate. According to Mayer, she saw his “involvement in technology as courting distraction.”

Then, he took a snarky dig at the 41-year-old actress, saying, “I can’t change the fact that I need to be 32.”

When it comes to Jessica Simpson, however, the details were far juicier, with Mayer revealing that their sex life took a walk on the wild side more often than not. “That girl is like crack cocaine to me…sexually it was crazy…it was like napalm, sexual napalm.”

Mayer, a self-proclaimed sex addict, went on to reveal how far he would go to keep banging a girl that made his eyes roll back in his head. “There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to…say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f***ing snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*** you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep f***ing you.’”

The no-holds-barred interview has also gotten the singer into some hot water with the African American community after he claimed that “black people love me,” and divulged that when someone recently inquired on how it was to have a “hood pass,” he said that such a thing would really be called a “n***** pass.” He also referred to his penis as a “white supremacist.”

OK dude, you win. The Stoughton Road pothole has nothing over your level of insanity.

How about a good rick roll for today?

That’s coming, but first a video of a call-in talk show where a person gives their story…which surprisingly sounds similar to The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

The real Fresh Prince theme:

.
.
.
Now for a good Rick Rolling. (Rick Roll: tricking someone into listening to, or repeating the lyrics to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up.“)

.
.
.
.
And finally, if you haven’t ripped your eyeballs out yet. You just might after watching Martha Stewart pole dance on her TV show.

Rated PG – 1h28 -

First a warning: Unless you have children under the age of 10, there is no need to see this movie.

Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 reunites the furry and high pitched trio, Alvin, Simon and Theodore. While on tour in Paris, their handler Dave Seville (Jason Lee) becomes unwittingly injured and has to send the rodents back home under the care of his dumbwitted nephew Toby ( Zachari Levi.)

The are sent to school, where they are asked to compete in a battle of the bands competition, but end up competing against a rival female chipmunk trio: The Chipettes.

Filled with silly sight gags, a variety of pop-turned-Chipmunk tunes, and some mild peril this movie can only be tolerable through the eyes of a child.

The chipmunks are boisterous, and extremely predictable. The live actors phoned in every second of the film. I wonder why they even bothered looking in the direction of the computer-animated chipmunks, who were digitally added in long after the human actors cashed their checks and ran.

In summary, if your kids like grown men being hit in the groin by toy motorcycles, or flatulent men trapping furry animals under the covers, by all means waste your hard earned money on this one.

If not, wait for the rental. Put it in the DVD player, sit the kids down in front of the TV and GET OUT OF THE ROOM!

Some eggheads in Detroit at Wayne University have come up with a new death timer for you.

Their study shows people whose first name begins with “A” live longer by 10 years those whose initial is “D.” They claim it stems from school grades. People whose name starts with D are more likely to have low self-esteem, which is linked to cancer and other illnesses.

They had shorter lives than those whose names began with E to Z.

I feel bad for everybody whose name starts with an “F.”

Frank, Fran, Fred & Felicity. Come sit down. I’ve got some bad news for you.

Just think of all the technological advances we’ve had since the beginning of the decade. Some good. Some that make you want to go insane….incredibly insane. They weren’t here when the decade started, but they’re part of your life now.

With the aid of our Engineer Tony, I’ve complied a list of some of the greatest tech advancements we now consider standard. Maybe they’ve revolutionized the world. Maybe they’ve just given us a larger headache. You decide.

Is it the 1984 that Orwell predicted? Probably not. Then again, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs told me to say that.

10. YouTube (2005) – A great tool for people around the world to share their opinions. That, and a great place to see videos of dogs & cats doing crazy things, people injuring themselves and countless celebrity flubs.

9. Text Speak (2000-09) – Text speak helped us quickly convey a short message. Now, text speak is showing up in email and has made its way into other written communication. College students are turning papers in that say “u” instead of “you.” Ooops, time to rewrite the dictionary.

8. Wi-Fi (2000-09) Ooooh. Internet where ever we go. Remember, stealing it from your neighbor is wrong…unless you don’t get caught.

7. Smart Phones (2005) – Internet, email, phone, text, apps. All at your fingertips, all the time. Hmmmm… is there a single device that’s made us more ADD?

6. Bluetooth Technology (2000-09) – The phone without holding the phone. Good for driving? The studies say probably not. Good for walking around and multitasking? I guess, if you don’t mind being the jerk in a crowd who looks insane and talking to themselves? Good for fashion? Nope.

5.The Stupid Orange Button (2005) – Players of Guitar Hero or Rock Band know. These highly addictive games highlight the massive explosion of the gaming industry. Yeah, less social interaction…more war game training. BTW…the orange button is the “5th finger” button on a Guitar Hero or Rock Band guitar. Very hard to reach.

4. Customizable Ringtones (early 2000s) – Fun new toys for your new toys. Didn’t you love sitting at a restaurant for dinner then hearing that stupid screaming frog ringtone? Truly deserving of a punch in the face.

3. iPods/MP3 Players (2000) – Your own personal music selection. You can now carry around your entire music library in your pocket. Use those fancy matching earbud headphones and you’re on the fast track to becoming deaf.

2. HDTV (2009) – Nice resolution eh! Nobody’s really complaining about the switchover, but what a headache it was to do. They sure led to a funny YouTube video of the old lady trying to plug her black and white TV into her toaster.

1. Facebook/Twitter (2004) – Instant access to and for everyone. They didn’t catch on until later on in the decade, but man, do they rule our worlds now. Social networking brings us all that much closer. It also lets your old weird high school classmates; your mother; your boss; your future boss; the police; probably the FBI and maybe Osama bin Laden keep tabs on your boring life.

By the way, of course I want to know that you’re: sitting in your living room; watching TV; eating Cheerios for dinner; playing with the cat; had an awesome time last night; looking forward to Friday; reciting rock lyrics; sharing gossip; bummed that its cold outside or need a plowing on Farmville. What could be more intersteing?

Enjoy the 2010’s. I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Maybe its crass to do a top ten list of celebrities that have died in 2009.

Then again, they were people that we knew and sometimes loved, so in a way we miss them. Consider this not an insult, but rather a way to remember their passing.

Celebrities that had some affect on my life that we said goodbye to in 2009:

10: Ed McMahon (3/6/1923-6/23/2009)- He never brought me that Publishers Clearing House check, but I still love and imitate that belly laugh of his.

9. Walter Cronkite (11/4/1916 – 7/17/2009) I didn’t get to see him in his prime news days…too young. Everyone I know who watched him still holds him in high regard. As a kid, I thought he was Captain Kangaroo.

8. Paul Harvey (9/4/1918 – 2/28/2009) One of my first radio jobs was airing this nutjob’s blibber-blather.

7. John Hughes (2/18/1950 – 8/6/2009) He wrote the films that made my generation sing.

6. Beatrice Arthur (5/13/1922 - 4/25/2009) I knew her as Bea from Golden Girls. Who woulda thought a grown man would admit to liking a show about grannies.

5. Ricardo Montalban (11/25/1920 – 1/14/2009) There was not a smoother senior out there. Adios mi amigo and I forgive you Kahn.

4. Farrah Fawcett (2/2/1947 – 6/25/2009) Respect to the pinup.

3. David Carradine (12/8/1936 – 6/4/2009) After Kill Bill, I start watching Kung-Fu and you up and leave. I am still the grasshopper.

2. Patrick Swayze (8/18/1952 – 9/14/2009) He’s still like the wind. There may never be a greater movie than Roadhouse.

1. Michael Jackson (8/29/1958 – 6/25/2009) King of Pop. I also hope they remember the good things you tried to do in your life.

I didn’t forget about you Eunice Kennedy Shriver, Ted Kennnedy, Billy Mays, Karl Malden. Les Paul, Dom Deluise or Brittany Murphy. R.I.P.

Sure, I’ll Facebook, Twitter and social network it up all over this mutha. Still that doesn’t mean that my whole world revolves around the new media.

I especially like to know when my friends are feeling sick, hoping the weekend arrives faster and pass me along a viral video that actually has a virus attached to it.

I especially think social networking should be infused into all aspects of life, such as births…bar mitzvah’s and of course weddings….

On the upside, this means Dancing With The Stars is done for another season.

Last night, the bubble-gum popping reached new decibels as Donny Osmond was crowned king of the dance floor, winning the 9th season of DWTS.

I don’t know what it is about this show that attracts people, but there is clearly something addictive about it. Perhaps we are caught up in the lights shining off the mirror ball. Perhaps its the NASCAR effect, and we want to see the celebrities fall hard on their face.

Whatever it is, I don’t want to think about reality talent shows anymore.

What’s that? American Idol starts in six weeks?!?!

Hey Doc? You think you can prescribe something stronger to completely numb me up?

Leona Lewis crying after getting punched for writing a book.

What’s up with the random pop star punching?

Sweet and sultry Brit singer Leona Lewis was taking part in a book signing of her autobiography, “Dreams,” yesterday in London, and after about 90 minutes of visiting with her fans, a man approached the table and punched her in the head. He didn’t offer any reason for his assault, and was immediately taken away by security.

They say it was an unprovoked attack and poor Leona could only say she was sorry to fans because she couldn’t finish the book signing.

Is this a case of somebody going crazy after one of those pop radio stations played her song a million times in a row, or just some crazed dude who thought he’d give her something to bleed about!

Here’s a link to a video of the guy getting arrested.