Eggs creeped me out way before this ginormous recall.  Here’s why:

Mariah Carey is set to release a new Christmas album.  Mark your calendar for November 2nd!!  The album is going to include 6 new songs, covers of classics and a brand new mix of “All I Want For Christmas Is You”!

All I Want For Christmas Is You

Every year I wait and wait to see which washed up songstress is going to roll out a Christmas album, but it looks like this year I’ll actually have one to buy.  Score!  Stay tuned for the album cover which will feature a “graffiti style” complete with tacky silver Christmas tree and fake reindeer.

Here’s to more from the woman that brought us the best new Christmas song since John Lennon’s “Happy Christmas (War Is Over).”

Happy Christmas

PS:  I’m now only saying “Happy Christmas” to you when I greet you.  “Merry” is SO over.

Hey Madison, I’ve got your solution to all your high-speed rail hoopla!

It’s true.  Just hear me out.

Remember these young, sweet, long haired lads who charmed us with a word they invented (what is MMMBop anyway?)

Well, they’ve turned into interesting, thoughtful, talented, grown-ups, that are still touring!!  They come to the Pabst on August 12th, and let me tell you from experience, the show will be worth every last dime you pay.

Here they are rocking out in the Charlie studio:

The most awesome thing about Hanson: They’re taking steps to end HIV/AIDS and poverty in Africa.  Literally.

Join them for a walk before their concerts, or organize you’re own walk.

*****Find Hanson at 144 East Wells Street Pabst Theatre at 3pm on August 12th and walk with them.*****

Every mile walked will raise funds to support one of five real causes that will make a difference, with one dollar donated by the Take The Walk campaign for each walker.  You can support: access to medical care, medical treatment, shoes, clean water and education.  32,255 miles have been walked towards this cause!

Too lazy to walk?  Have a shoe addiction? You can purchase a pair of TOMS shoes for yourself.  By doing this you’ll be providing a much needed pair of shoes to a child.

You should also save the rainforest, but Sting deserves his own post.

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Brett Favre is now “officially” retired.  What’s this guy’s deal?  He’s playing that game that some couples play where they break up, then get back together, then break up, then get back together…Seriously, the rest of the world just wants a final answer!!!  Most of them don’t care what it is, just make up your mind!

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I’m guessing this retirement means Favre will have a lot of time on his hands. Here’s how I imagine Brett Favre will spend his retirement:

- Forcing his grandson to listen about the good old days, like before he was a crybaby the first time he retired.

(PS I think Oprah took a page out of this book…look for her to show up in a season as a  NY Jet)

- Posing for Wranglers ads no one will ever see, just ’cause it makes him feel pretty

- Testing the full strength of Sensodyne toothpaste by setting the world record for most ice cream cones eaten in 1 hour.

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One last thing Favre…your name should be spelled FARVE.  There, I said it. It should be phonetic.  You’ve confused enough second graders and frat boys with this.  Time to take your misspelled name and ride off into the sunset.

I’m not usually into healthy activities – my idea of a workout is walking to the vending machine (hey, it’s 2 flights of stairs, don’t judge), but this is something I might actually consider.  The New Belgium Brewing Urban Assault Ride is coming to Madison in September, and it’s all about getting a teammate and taking your bikes on a crazy race around the city.

It’s not your average, stuffy, serious ride, it’s cool and funky, like the cycling race for people who hate the idea of cycling races.  The point is to ride around and compete in fun challenges, completing checkpoints as fast as you can.  If you’re an awesome big-wheeler or slip-n-slide enthusiast, this is for you.  They might even throw in a brain teaser or BMX bike challenge.  It’s a crazy and ridiculous way to spend a Sunday. Plus, at the end there’s a huge party with raffle prizes and beer!
(If you’re in town on September 26th and want to see the mayhem hang around Olin Park)

Check it out:

So what will Mayer’s sound evolve into?  Apparently he’ll be going for the 70s

sound of Bob Dylan’s “Blood on the Tracks”, which is considered one of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time by Rolling Stone.

Can’t decide if this will be awesome or a crime against music.  Waiting to lock up Mayer until it’s completely done though.

Songs from Blood on the Tracks:
Side one:
“Tangled Up in Blue”
“Simple Twist of Fate”
“You’re a Big Girl Now”
Idiot Wind”
“You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go”

Side two
“Meet Me in the Morning”
“Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts”
“If You See Her, Say Hello”
“Shelter from the Storm”
“Buckets of Rain”

“I was burned out from exhaustion buried in the hail
Poisoned in the bushes and blown out on the trail
Hunted like a crocodile ravaged in the corn
“Come in” she said
“I’ll give you shelter from the storm”.
-Shelter from the Storm

Suggestion to Mayer: Always rhyme, put more crocodiles in your songs.

Mayer covers Dylan’s “Don’t Think Twice It’s All Right”

Top 3 Wrecked Rock Star Videos

#3: “Misery” – Maroon 5

Basically a chick thinks of inventive ways to kick Adam Levine’s butt.  All members of the band get hit by a car which doesn’t sound funny, but it’s all so absurd it works.  Good song, better video.

Best Wrecked Moment: Multiple head butts

#2: ” Wordplay” – Jason Mraz

Crazy punk crowds throw stones at him in a field, yell at him and he gets scratched up as he happily plays for them.  Cut the dude a break, he’s just trying to bring happiness and scatting to the world.

Best Wrecked Moment: Mraz’s blood gushing/falling off right arm

#1: “Wanted Dead or Alive” – Bon Jovi
This is a different kind of beat up.  It’s a “At the Height of My Career” beat up.  The guys may have excellent sequined jackets and done hair, but the eyes don’t lie, and Jon is tired.  It’s an interesting blend of on stage performance, and behind the scenes moments that shows the pure exhaustion of being adored by millions.  They may not need a band aid, but they need a nap.

Best Wrecked Moment: Jon looking like a boxer that just lost a fight while being directed off  stage at the end of a show